In the past, there have been several theories on the causes of violence against women.
One of the most common theories was that men who commit intimate partner violence do so because they suffer from a mental illness. It was also assumed that violence was a manifestation of a psychological disorder, a “loss of control,” or an inability to manage emotions.
However, long-term research has disproven this theory. Most abusive men were not diagnosed with any mental disorder. The prevalence of mental illness in the general population is relatively low compared to the widespread experiences of women with intimate partner violence. Studies of perpetrators’ psychological profiles also showed that their behavior does not align with typical signs of a mental disorder. Their abusive behavior is targeted at a specific person – a partner or spouse – and is connected to exerting and enforcing control and power over the woman and her life.
Another theory was the concept of “learned helplessness” in women. According to this theory, women who repeatedly experience violence without a way to stop it develop a sense or belief that their actions – asking the partner to stop, seeking help – cannot change the situation. Critics, however, have pointed out that the characteristics attributed to learned helplessness – low self-esteem, passivity, lack of initiative – are often the result of the violence itself, not its cause.
Moreover, intimate partner violence evolves over time. Even though women may experience periods of helplessness, many at other times seek solutions, seek help, protect themselves and their children, or end the relationship. Modern research shows that women are not passive in situations of abuse.
A turning point: violence is deliberate and purposeful
With the advancement of research, experts began focusing on patterns of behavior and the dynamics of abusive relationships. It is no longer considered true that abusive behavior toward a partner is a random “outburst” of emotion – on the contrary, it is often deliberate, purposeful, and controlled. The abusive man chooses when, where, and whom to harm – usually only the partner, often when there are no witnesses.
Social norms and stereotypes as a breeding ground for intimate partner violence
Research shows that abusive behavior is most often the result of social learning, not innate factors. Children who grow up in families with domestic violence may adopt these patterns: boys may learn that using violence to enforce obedience or loyalty is acceptable, while girls may learn that being humiliated or controlled by a partner is “normal.”
In this way, violence is transmitted from generation to generation – not genetically, but through learned behavior. Abusive men may learn from home, school, media, and social role models that it is acceptable to disrespect, humiliate, ridicule, or publicly criticize or comment on women’s appearance and bodies. And they also learn that not only is such behavior acceptable, but it often goes unpunished.
Some persistent historical and cultural beliefs – for example, that “the man rules the household” or that a woman must obey – create an environment where abusive men find support or justification for their behavior. Similarly, the idea that women are responsible for maintaining the family persists, and if a relationship fails, the woman is often blamed for “breaking up the family.”
Conclusion
Intimate partner violence against women is not an outburst of emotion but learned, deliberate, and purposeful behavior aimed at gaining power and control over a woman.
This shift in understanding the causes of intimate partner violence is crucial for intervention: addressing violence against women cannot rely solely on treatment or therapy – it must focus on the perpetrator’s responsibility, behavior change, social prevention, and transformation of societal and cultural norms.
To truly eliminate violence against women, we must stop excusing abusive behavior and address it where it originates – in learned behavior patterns and social norms that tolerate inequality, humiliation, and lack of respect for women.
Activities of Fenestra Counselling and Intervention Centre in 2025 are supported by the Ministry of Justice of the Slovak Republic through the grant program for providing professional assistance to victims of crime, the Ministry of Labour, Social Affairs and Family of the Slovak Republic within the grant for promoting gender equality and equal opportunities, and the Košice Self-Governing Region.
Fenestra bears sole responsibility for the content of this article.
