{"id":6022,"date":"2025-10-14T17:49:00","date_gmt":"2025-10-14T15:49:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.fenestra.sk\/?p=6022"},"modified":"2026-01-01T22:51:58","modified_gmt":"2026-01-01T21:51:58","slug":"narcissism-vs-violence","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.fenestra.sk\/en\/narcissism-vs-violence\/","title":{"rendered":"NARCISSISM vs. INTIMATE PARTNER VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Online you will find many videos or articles offering advice on \u201chow to deal with a narcissist.\u201d They often include tips such as: <\/p>\n\n<div style=\"height:20px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n<p><em>\u201cSet clear boundaries.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n<p><em>\u201cDon\u2019t let yourself be provoked \u2014 stay calm.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n<p><em>\u201cBe assertive and stand your ground.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n<p><em>\u201cUse I feel\u2026 statements to express your needs.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n<div style=\"height:20px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n<p>These recommendations may be helpful \u2014 if the relationship is emotionally difficult but not dangerous or threatening. However, it is very important to understand that a partner with narcissistic traits is not automatically an abusive partner <\/p>\n\n<div style=\"height:20px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n<p>Recognizing the difference between narcissism and violence is not just an academic distinction \u2014 it can have a real impact on a woman\u2019s safety.<\/p>\n\n<div style=\"height:20px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n<p><strong>The main difference: narcissism versus abusive behaviour<\/strong><\/p>\n\n<div style=\"height:20px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n<p><strong>What can narcissism look like?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n<div style=\"height:20px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n<p>A narcissistic person in a relationship may argue often, be defensive, react sharply or hurtfully; ignore your feelings, downplay your needs, and show little empathy or understanding and demand your attention or admiration, seek validation of their worth and uniqueness \u2014 and feel betrayed when they don\u2019t get it.<\/p>\n\n<div style=\"height:20px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n<p>Such behaviour may be hurtful or exhausting, but they do not automatically mean the relationship is violent.<\/p>\n\n<div style=\"height:20px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n<p><strong>What is an abusive relationship?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n<div style=\"height:20px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n<p>An abusive partner uses power and control to dominate, destabilize, and govern the woman in all areas of her life. Common features include creating and maintaining fear \u2014 so that the woman behaves as the violent partner wants; threats and intimidation \u2014 verbal, indirect (e.g. \u201cI\u2019ll take the children,\u201d \u201cI\u2019ll destroy you\u201d) or very direct threats to harm or kill her; <strong>isolation<\/strong> \u2014 from family, friends, or limiting contact with the outside world; <strong>control <\/strong>\u2014 of daily activities: who she meets or talks to, what she does, where she is, what she wears, what she reads, and various other forms of control such as financial control; <strong>physical violence <\/strong>\u2014 from pushing or pulling hair to severe attacks.  <\/p>\n\n<div style=\"height:20px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n<p>In a relationship where violence is present, the problem is not the partner\u2019s personality but rather his behaviour, which is characterized by the need to gain and maintain total power and control over the woman and her life.<\/p>\n\n<div style=\"height:20px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n<p><strong>Why assertiveness can be dangerous in an abusive relationship<\/strong><\/p>\n\n<div style=\"height:20px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n<p>Many self-help books and videos present assertiveness as a path to greater self-respect and better treatment. In healthy relationships \u2014 or regular relationship conflicts \u2014 it can work. But if a woman lives with a partner who uses power and control, assertiveness or resisting him may lead to escalation of violence.  <\/p>\n\n<div style=\"height:20px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n<p>When an abusive partner senses he is losing power and control \u2014 for example when the woman starts expressing her opinions more openly, asks for more space, or wants to leave \u2014 he often reacts by escalating his abusive behaviour. This may include <strong>escalation<\/strong> of isolation and control, threats or intimidation, physical attacks or serious injuries and, in extreme cases, lethal violence. <\/p>\n\n<div style=\"height:20px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n<p>This <strong>escalation is<\/strong> a very <strong>real risk<\/strong> \u2014 which is why it is not safe to use the same communication strategies with a violent partner that you might use with a narcissistic one.<\/p>\n\n<div style=\"height:20px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n<p>Some studies show that narcissistic traits and intimate partner violence can be connected \u2014 but they are not the same. Strong narcissistic traits may be <strong>one factor<\/strong> associated with abusive and\/or controlling behaviour, but that does not mean every person with narcissistic traits will automatically become an abusive partner. <\/p>\n\n<div style=\"height:20px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n<p><strong>How to recognize risk and protect yourself? Safety first! <\/strong><\/p>\n\n<div style=\"height:20px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n<p>Warning signs of a potentially abusive relationship that threatens a woman\u2019s safety include if the woman feels <strong>fear<\/strong> \u2014 for example fear of \u201cwhat will happen if I say something,\u201d or fear that he might attack her or the children or that <strong>her partner is controlling<\/strong> her daily activities, trying to isolate her, or restricting her contact with other people.<\/p>\n\n<div style=\"height:20px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n<p>These are some signals that the relationship may be abusive but assessing whether a relationship is abusive or simply dysfunctional and emotionally hurtful is complex. Therefore, if a woman thinks she is experiencing intimate partner violence from her partner or husband, she can call a counselling and\/or intervention centre for women experiencing violence or a shelter. She can also contact the <strong>24\/7 free-of-charge National Helpline for Women<\/strong> at <strong>0800 212 212<\/strong>, which offers crisis support as well as contacts for the nearest support service.  <\/p>\n\n<div style=\"height:20px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n<p><strong>What to do (and what not to do)?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n<div style=\"height:20px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n<p><strong>Safety is the priority<\/strong> &#8211; if there is a real risk of violence escalating, the priority is not sophisticated communication, but strategies to protect yourself and increase your safety.<\/p>\n\n<div style=\"height:20px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.zastavmenasilie.gov.sk\/linka-pre-zeny\/\">The National Helpline for Women<\/a> &#8211; <strong>will provide crisis support<\/strong> as well as <strong>information and contacts<\/strong> for local helplines for women experiencing violence, shelters, and counselling for women and intervention centres for victims of domestic violence.<\/p>\n\n<div style=\"height:20px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n<p><strong>Trusted people<\/strong> &#8211; if there is someone you trust \u2014 family, a friend, a colleague \u2014 stay in contact with them and talk about what you are experiencing.<\/p>\n\n<div style=\"height:20px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n<p><strong>Safety planning<\/strong> &#8211; if you are considering leaving the abusive partner, it is important to plan how to leave safely. Helplines or counselling centres specializing in support for women experiencing intimate partner violence can help you prepare such a safety plan. <\/p>\n\n<div style=\"height:20px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n<p><strong>Documentation <\/strong>&#8211; if possible and safe, record threats, messages, photos of injuries, or other evidence in a notebook or a device the violent partner cannot access \u2014 these can help later when taking steps to address the violence.<\/p>\n\n<div style=\"height:20px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n<p><strong>Professional help<\/strong> &#8211; through helplines, counselling and intervention centres for women experiencing violence and other victims of domestic violence, or shelters.<\/p>\n\n<div style=\"height:20px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n<p><strong>Something that helps clarify the difference<\/strong><\/p>\n\n<div style=\"height:20px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n<p>The organization <a href=\"https:\/\/www.thehotline.org\/resources\/narcissism-vs-abuse\/\">The Hotline<\/a> in the U.S. emphasizes that narcissism and violence are not the same \u2014 while narcissistic traits or behaviours may be selfish, unempathetic, or superficial, abusive behaviour is a repeated pattern of power and control over a partner.<\/p>\n\n<div style=\"height:20px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n<p>It is equally important to highlight that when we label a man who is abusive toward his partner as a \u201cnarcissist,\u201d we risk focusing on a psychological \u201cdiagnosis\u201d or personality and not on his abusive behaviour, accountability for that behaviour, or the safety of women.<\/p>\n\n<div style=\"height:20px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n<p><strong>Summary<\/strong><\/p>\n\n<div style=\"height:20px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n<p><strong>Not all narcissistic behaviour<\/strong> is abusive behaviour, though it can be very hurtful.<\/p>\n\n<div style=\"height:20px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n<p><strong>Advice such as<\/strong> \u201cbe more assertive\u201d <strong>can be<\/strong> <strong>dangerous<\/strong> if violence is present in the relationship.<\/p>\n\n<div style=\"height:20px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n<p>If a woman feels scared, controlled, or isolated, <strong>the most important issue is<\/strong> her <strong>safety<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n<div style=\"height:20px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n<p><strong>If you are experiencing violence<\/strong> or believe you might be in an abusive relationship, seek help from organizations specializing in support for women experiencing intimate partner violence. They can help you understand your partner\u2019s behaviour, increase your safety, and offer various forms of assistance and support. <\/p>\n\n<div style=\"height:20px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n<p><strong>Contacts <\/strong>for the nearest counselling or intervention centre or shelter in Slovakia are provided by the National Helpline for Women or <a href=\"https:\/\/www.zastavmenasilie.gov.sk\/poradna\/adresar\/\">here<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n<div style=\"height:20px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n<div style=\"height:20px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n<div style=\"height:20px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n<div style=\"height:20px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n<p>Activities of Fenestra Counselling and Intervention Centre in 2025 are supported by the Ministry of Justice of the Slovak Republic through the grant program for providing professional assistance to victims of crime, the Ministry of Labour, Social Affairs and Family of the Slovak Republic within the grant for promoting gender equality and equal opportunities, and the Ko\u0161ice Self-Governing Region.<\/p>\n\n<div style=\"height:20px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n<p><em> Fenestra bears sole responsibility for the content of this article. <\/em><\/p>\n\n<p><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Online you will find many videos or articles offering advice on \u201chow to deal with a narcissist.\u201d They often include tips such as: \u201cSet clear boundaries.\u201d \u201cDon\u2019t let yourself be provoked \u2014 stay calm.\u201d \u201cBe assertive and stand your ground.\u201d \u201cUse I feel\u2026 statements to express your needs.\u201d These recommendations may be helpful \u2014 if [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":6060,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"set","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[40],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6022","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-news"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v25.9 - 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